PSA: This is your last chance to bring your family into the sweat. Read on to find out the best “first sweat” for newcomers. 

We've had some crazy parlays cash this season, and I hope you've had fun. But to be honest, this was never just about the money or the wins.

It was always about the fourth-quarter sweats that we made along the way. So to those of you who messaged me during the games and were sweating right there along with me. ILY! 

And I hope you're ready for one last sweaty hoorah (under $20 buckaroos)!!

Don't get scared now!

The Three Scared Money Bylaws:

1. May the Odds Never Be In Your Favor: We are absolutely NOT trying to play it safe. The crazier the odds, the better.
2. Narratives are EVERYTHING: Betting on something meaningless is an emotionally empty abyss. Instead, we're buying into the incredible outcomes that we want to become our reality. We're fans of the game—THAT is what drives the bet.
3. No wager is too small: Even the smallest bets can give you an INCREDIBLE sweat if they revolve around something you believe in. In fact, the smaller the better.

Longshot Parlays and Picks For Super Bowl 60

LX% of the Time, It Happens Every Time (+1700)

“60% of the time, it happens every time.” That's our inspiration for this eight-leg parlay. 

Here are eight things that have happened 60% of the time every time during the regular season. (Okay, I said 60, but these vary between 58.8%-64.7%, because nothing divides evenly into 17! F*ck off, nerd).

• Drake Maye has thrown an INT in 10/17 games
• Sam Darnold has thrown for 240 or more passing yards in 11/17 games
• Jaxon Smith-Njigba has scored a TD in 10/17 games
• Stefon Diggs has caught four or more receptions in 11/17 games
• Drake Maye has had five or more rush attempts in 11/17 games
• AJ Barner has caught three or more receptions in 10/17 games
• Seattle has allowed 15 or more points to opponents in 10/17 games
• New England has allowed 19 or more points to opponents in 10/17 games 
   

THE LEGS:

• Drake Maye Interceptions Thrown 1+
• Sam Darnold Passing Yards 240+
• Jaxon Smith-Njigba ATD
• Stefon Diggs Receptions 4+
• Drake Maye Rushing Attempts 6+
• AJ Barner Receptions 3+
• NE Patriots: Total Team Points Over 14.5
• SEA Seahawks: Total Team Points Over 18.5

Premium

Go FantasyLife+

Your league is unique. Your advice should be too. Get personalized tools, rankings, and projections tailored to your fantasy football league settings.

Learn More

Glass Case of Emotion (+12000)

While we're all rooting for a high-octane, high-scoring game … There's always the possibility that SEA continues to dominate on defense and Sam Darnold starts to see a few ghosts. 

It would leave me screaming inside a glass case of emotion, but what if no one scores?

Field Goals, anyone?

• First TD Scorer: No Touchdown Scorer

No One Knows What It Means, But It's Provocative (+1500)

C'mon. Don't be a p*ss. Let's bet on the octop*s!

If a single player can score a TD and the subsequent 2-point conversion on the same possession, we've got an octopus, baby!! 

• Will There Be an Octopus? YES +1500

I love doink. (+600)

Statistically speaking, it's uncommon for a "doink" to happen in any given game. But there's always pressure looming down on kickers. So, there’s always a chance!

And who doesn't love rooting for a doink?

**This is the perfect gateway scared money bet. Let your friends and family know you're rooting for a doink and watch them join in on the fun.**

• Any FG or XP Attempt to Hit Goalpost: YES

Stay Classy, Seattle! (+1000)

Since Thanksgiving, SEA has held its opponents to 10 or fewer points in all but three games (two of those three were against the Rams). During their last nine games, SEA has allowed 132 points (64 of those came from the Rams).

Do you see where I'm going here? 

Other than the Rams, offenses have struggled against the Seahawks for monthssss. Seattle even held Christian F'kin McCaffrey to 35 ru/39 rec yards in the Divisional Round. 

… And is now a bad time to mention that Drake Maye has thrown an INT in 2 of his 3 postseason games?

• SEA Seahawks Moneyline
• Total: Under 45.5
• Drake Maye Passing Yards: Under 222.5
• Drake Maye Interceptions Thrown: Over 0.5
• Drake Maye Passing Completions: Under 19.5
• Rhamondre Stevenson Rushing + Receiving Yards: Under 76.5

I Don't Know How To Put This, But He's Kind of a Big Deal (+3000)

You can choose your own adventure when it comes to betting on the Super Bowl 60 MVP, but there's no question here in my home.

There's only one guy who can cause a top-five NFL noise pop with a 95-yard kick return TD. 

He's a former Saint. 
He's my forever MVP.

He's kind of a big deal.

• Rashid Shaheed - Super Bowl LX MVP

I Am Ron Burgundy? (+1400)

Listen. Players are going to do whatever the teleprompter (read: play caller) tells them to do. 

If someone tells Cooper Kupp to pass the ball in the red zone, so be it. Who are we to judge? 

• Any Non-QB to Throw a TD Pass: YES

Boy, That Escalated Quickly … 

We have some SB records that are just begging to be broken. 

The choice is yours. I dropped a few dimes on them all. 

• Any Player to Have 216+ Receiving Yards (+3000)
• Any Player to Have 15+ Receptions (+4000)
• Any Player to Have 506+ Passing Yards (+15000)
• Any Player to Have 7+ Passing TDs (+25000)

For more Super Bowl 60 novelty props, check out my Super Bowl LX exotic prop bets.

Join Our Newsletter

Trusted by 400,000+ fantasy football players. Get access to Fantasy Life's free award winning newsletter and tools, all in one step.

Email Address

Subscribe

By registering or logging in, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.